The Catty German
by Eurotintin
Summary: Oh great, Germany's got cat features now. How's he going to deal with this? Just fan-service crack for the ladies. Neko!Germany


**Crack fan-service for those who won't shut the hell up about getting more Nekoalliance crap. Look, I'm not doing it ok! That was just for fun, and I'm DONE. EVERYONE STOP COMPLAINING!**

**My guess is that it's girls with their creepy shipping fantasies that want more of that story. You know, GUYS WATCH THIS SHOW TOO!**

**Here, maybe if you get some Germany fanservice, you'll shut up about it!**

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**I don't need to say the disclaimer, you guys are smart enough to know that.**

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Germany jolted up as his alarm clock announced the morning. He looked outside to see it was still dark since it was five o' clock in the morning. Oh yes that was right, he had gotten Italy and Prussia on a new schedule starting today.

Germany got out of bed, he was still a little tired from yesterday, but his militaristic mind forced him to the bathroom down the hallway. No one was up yet, it rather irritated Germany.

"Even my bruder's a slacker." He groaned to himself. He closed the door and turned on the lights. He squinted from the sudden change as his pupils adjusted to the flare. He went over to the sink, turned on the faucet, dipped his face in the water, and then rubbed it dry with a towel. He sighed as he turned the faucet off and retrieved his shaving cream and razor from the cabinet behind the mirror. He closed the mirror to begin his shave but jumped back in terror.

He just sat there and stared for a few minutes in disbelief. After a while, he approached the mirror again and just stared at his reflection. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes with his palms to clear his vision. However, when he looked back up, the results were the same as before.

Perched on his head, sticking out from his blonde bed-hair were his ears. Not his regular ears, but a pair of equally fair haired cat ears. They just sat on his head, completely still as if they were silently begging "_Touch me! Touch me!_"

Germany slowly raised one hand towards his head. He stopped several times along the way before finally mustering enough courage to touch it with a single finger. The ear flicked when he touched it. Germany pulled back his hand in astonishment and had to spend a moment calming himself. He once again raised his hands up and this time, he grasped the two organs completely. He was speechless as he rubbed the backs of them with his thumb. With every stroke he made, he could feel the movement against the short fur. He tugged on them slightly, but they were both firmly attached to his head just as ears are supposed to be.

"What the hell?" he stammered as his eyes were still fixed upon his newly shaped ears. He stared for a long while before he felt something slip down his pant leg. He panicked as something brushed against his calf. He bent over and rolled up his nightwear pant legs and saw something just barely stick out. He patted the area where it sat and realized that it continued up his leg. He continued to feel until he reached the base of his spine. Removing his night pants so that he was only wearing his boxers, he looked behind himself and his stomach turned into a cushion from the pins and needles as he felt a cold sweat form upon his face.

"Oh…oh mein Gott…" he hissed.

His boxers hadn't managed to contain this new appendage which had torn its way through them during the night. Flowing down behind him was a long, slender tail. The silky blonde hair also covered it from base to tip. Germany reached down and picked up the lifeless feature. He just stared at it as it sat snuggly in his palm before stroking it gently. He immediately stopped when he realized that he felt the touch of his fingers against it. He trailed the tail with his hand behind him and grabbed hold of it as close to the base as he could. He gave it a good, hard, tug but only found it sent a lot of pain shooting through his spine. This wasn't a gag, he had grown a tail…an real, genuine tail.

This was almost too much for the German to handle. He found himself hyperventilating as he tried to steady himself against the sink.

"This isn't real...its just a dream. I'm dreaming...I'm dream-"

"Hey West!" a voice came from outside the bathroom door. Germany spun around only to have his tail knock over the trash bin. He turned to fix it but ended up having his tail knock over an entire shelf of supplies. Germany pressed his new tail down against his backside with one hand to keep it from doing any more damage while he tried holding up the shelf with the other.

On the other side of the door, Prussia could hear the ruckus going on and looked at the door skeptically.

"Uh...West? You ok in there?"

"Ja!" Came a harsh reply. "I'm perfectly fine!"

There came a crash along with a "Scheiße!" from the other side. Prussia looked up at Gilbird, but the little chick was still fast asleep on his head. Prussia turned his attention back to door.

"You sure about that?" he asked.

"Of course I'm sure!" Germany said furiously, "I'm just dealing with a few...changes in here."

"...riiiight." Prussia nodded skeptically. "Anyway, you might want to hurry up. We still have to do that training you talked about yesterday!"

"Er...something's come up!" Germany barked. "The training is off!"

Prussia stepped back from the door and got a grin on his face. "Seriously? That's so awesome!" Prussia turned and started walking away as a stream of kese's exited his mouth.

"I'm totally going to troll Austria today with my awesomeness! That loser won't know what hit him!"

Germany pressed his head against the door as his cat ears listened to Prussia walked away. He sighed in relief causing his ears to droop a little in response. He looked around him and saw that he had quite the mess to clean up. He groaned and knelt down to start picking up the items. He looked at his inexperienced tail which was splayed out on the floor behind him. He glared at it grudgingly.

"Anything else you'd like to break?" he asked sarcastically.

He began to reorganize everything. It wasn't anything serious, just cleaning supplies and other things that had been knocked to the floor. However, he made it a point to have a hand constantly detaining the new limb from further movement. Once he was finished, he turned to look at the mirror again. He once again brushed his fingers over the ears and gave his tail a little tug. But after his examination, Germany had to face the facts. This was no dream. Which of course brought him to the next obvious question.

"How did this happen?" he wondered aloud. He turned away from the mirror and brought his finger to his chin, his left ear twitched in thought. He sighed hopelessly as he took another look at his reflection. He felt his face grow hot from embarrassment. He looked ridiculous with his new features. How was he ever going to get anything done like this?

Then he started wondering about a much more troublesome question. How long was this going to last? Was it going to be for a few hours, or for a few days? What if...what if this was permanent?

Germany started to imagine what his life would be like it he had to run around looking like this. He could see everyone mocking him and failing to take anything he said seriously. If he stayed like this, why, he'd end up being nothing more than a walking joke.

Germany knew that these new features of his had to disappear. He scrambled through the drawers under the sink and sifted through the supplies in search of a certain tool in particular. Finally, in the far back under the sink, he saw it. It was still in good condition regardless of being out of use for so long. It was an old fashioned razor. The long, extremely sharp, rectangular kind that barbers used in the old days. He flipped it open and looked at it determinedly.

"Ja, this should do the job."

He sat on the sink counter top and moved his tail so that it would be away from his sides. He removed his shirt and looked in the mirror to see the his objective. He marveled at how the tail perfectly melded into his back and couldn't help but rub the base for a moment. He shook his head and returned to his task. Carefully, he placed the razor as close to his tail's base as he could and prepared to cut through it. He was completely prepared to do this in addition to his ears since he was no stranger to pain.

However, as he started to press the blade down into the fur, he realized something. This tail of his was nothing more than an extension of his spine. What if this change was only temporary after all? Would that mean his tail would retreat into his back once it was over? So if he lopped off the whole thing now, what would that mean for him later on? He might permanently damage his skeletal structure. Worse still, what if he damaged his nervous system? He might just end up being paralyzed which was even worse of a fate in his eyes.

He threw the razor into the sink and walked away from the counter, his tail sliding off as it followed him, barely saved from being chopped off. Germany paced the bathroom floor as his mind raced with worry.

"What am I going to do?" he wondered as his ears drooped from stress. "I can't stay like this, but removing them this way is too dangerous."

Eventually, Germany came to the conclusion that he needed to first figure out what had happened and then proceed with trying to undo this change. He also needed to think of how he was going to hide his ears and tail until that time. His ears wouldn't be that difficult, he could probably keep them hidden with his military cap or some other kind of head cover. His tail however was a different matter. How was he going to hide such a long, bulky appendage? He could try and see whether tucking it in his trousers would work, but he would have to wear some kind of long coat to keep it completely hidden.

"Well," Germany sighed. "I guess that's that." He decided that he minus well try going about doing things as if nothing had happened. No point in hiding his new features if he was going to arouse suspicion.

He went back to the sink to shave. He tried to focus on his chin and face, but he couldn't help glance up at those cat ears that shifted every now and then alerted by the various noises they heard. Eventually, he finished successfully and just realized that the next thing on his schedule was his shower. He was a bit hesitant about this, but a German is a German and this German had a schedule to follow. He slipped off his boxers, shuddering at how awkward it felt for his tail to slip out of the hole it had made. He stepped into the shower and turned on the hot water as he started to work up the lather from the soap.

He quickly realized that keeping his daily routine was not going to be that simple. Even a basic shower was more complicated than he expected. He tried to wash his hair and scalp, but his ears kept getting in the way. His fingers always seemed to be ramming into them regardless of how he tried to avoid them. Not only that, but they were always flicking from the constant trickle of water. Germany felt every twitch his altered ears made which sent butterflies dancing in his stomach. It was a while before he finally was done with his hair and proceeded to scrub his body and eventually came to his second dis-likable feature. He gripped his tail in his hands as he scrubbed through the fur from tip to base. The new, alien sensations he received were enough to nearly drive him insane, but somehow Germany managed to keep a level head. He stepped out of the shower and and ruffled the towel through his hair, body and tail until he was completely dry.

"Finally." he sighed, his ears leaning towards his forehead. They soon pressed against the back of his head. "If I find out who did this I swear, I'll make Italy look like the toughest man in comparison to them when I'm through."

Germany gathered his clothes and wrapped the longest towel he could find around his waist. He then wet a cloth and placed it on his head to cover his ears.

"This should be fine." he thought to himself, "After all, I just need to get to my room and then I can hide them properly."

He left the bathroom, looked around the hallway cautiously, and then proceeded to head back to his bedroom. He was almost there when...

"Buongiorno Germany!"

Germany cringed when he heard the sound of his comrade. He turned around just as Italy pounced and gave him a hug. Germany completely spazzed out from this surprise attack as he felt sharp prickles on the back of his legs as his tail got bushy. Germany completely disregarded the potential disaster of revealing his current state as he punched Italy hard on the head. Italy started sobbing as Germany grew furious.

"Don't EVER do that again you little kraut!" Germany thundered, "I put up with your hugs as it is, but at least wait until I have some clothes on!"

"Ve..." Italy whimpered, "I'm sorry Germany...I just wanted to say good morning to my best friend!"

"And what kept you from waiting until LATER to say it?!"

"Uh..." Italy wondered

Germany sighed as he pinched this bridge of his nose. "Look, just..."

Germany felt his heart stop as he looked down at the fetal positioned Italy. He saw to his horror that the washcloth that he had placed on his head was on the floor. He grew pale as he finally recognized the feeling of his ears twitching. As quick as a flash, he swiped the towel and shoved it on his head as his ears pressed against his head from the weight.

"Look, just...just don't do it again!" he said quickly and rushed to his room. He locked the door and sighed as he slid the towel from his head allowing his ears to peek out again and swivel a bit. He sighed as he went to his bed and sat down only to get back up in order to readjust the position of his relatively sensitive tail. After a while of just sitting and thinking, he rubbed his face and went over to the drawer to put on some clothes. He slipped his tail into his boxers and down his left pant leg, but when he looked in the mirror, he could see that its presence was far too obvious. He removed his pants and took some white medical cloth from his nightstand. He slowly wrapped the cloth tightly around his leg and tail to the point where his tail couldn't even make the slightest twitch. When he was done, he once again put on his trousers and was satisfied with the appearance. He then put on his shirt, vest, coat, and of course military cap.

He straightened himself in the mirror and sighed.

"This is going to be a baaaaad day..." he grumbled.


End file.
